My Body and Its Stories
A mother smiles softly as she watches her five year old daughter inch slowly towards the shoreline, giggling nervously and slightly retreating as the soft waves touch her toes. She smiles watching the life that she created feel so much joy from experiencing the ocean for the first time, but at the same time sighs, wishing that she could join her. Something is holding her back; she feels vulnerable to others seeing the cesarean scar on her abdomen that happened when her body worked so hard to create the joy that is standing in front of her.
A few umbrellas down, a group of teenagers are laughing loudly and cheering joyfully during a pickup game of beach volleyball, their foreheads glistening, shining with the sweat and sunshine. Out of breath, one of them announces the idea to cool off and take a dip in the ocean. They all start running and chasing each other down; however, one friend is held back. Looking longingly as their friends trot in and splash water on each other, he feels an aching in his stomach thinking of the questions he might get when others see the lines under where his breasts used to be. Even though it took him so much strength and time to develop the confidence to transition and feel comfortable in his identity, the pit in his stomach is still holding him back of what his scars might share to others.
Near the cove at the end of the shore, another group of young married couples makes moves towards the tide pools to explore the tiny marine lives flourishing in the shallow waters. As the others start removing their shorts or coverups so as to not accidentally get their clothes wet in the tidepools, a husband turns towards his wife and gives her a daring look. She was initially starting to remove her shorts too, but then stopped mid-gesture. His words start repeating in her mind, “I’m embarrassed to see you in a bathing suit at the beach.” She had worked so hard on her fitness journey and finally feels empowered and strong in her body for the first time, yet his comments towards her stretch marks make her feel as though she needs to hide the curves and shapes her body used to take. This was a part of her and her journey to confidence, but his comments from the past bore in her head. She quickly tells the group that she’ll stay back to watch their phones and wallets as they go ahead.
Each of our bodies have their own stories that brought us to where we are today, some visibly showing those stories and journeys more than others. With the weather getting warmer, we can feel especially more susceptible to vulnerabilities of our bodies and their “stories” rather than in the winter when we bundle up and hide them.
By stories, this could mean different scars, tattoos, and parts that you’re proud to show off, or parts that make you feel more vulnerable or self conscious. Our stories also demonstrate working on the confidence required to share such stories with the world. Our bodies do so much for us in ways that we sometimes forget to appreciate and feel gratitude towards; thus, instead of punishing our bodies for showing their journeys, we should be celebrating them and allow them to fully feel the joy and warmth that summer brings.
We asked a few of our friends to share what warmer weather means for them in terms of body positivity and empowerment. We hope that their stories of vulnerabilities and journeys to empowerment help you feel empowered and confident to show your body’s stories this summer as well, or at least the confidence not to be ashamed of them! As one of our friends shared, “Your body doesn’t need to be punished in order to enjoy summer.” (Nancy, @hearthealingtherapy)
My Body and its Transition Story
“Working as a lifeguard before and during transitioning [female to male] and not being particularly good at passing was definitely interesting. When I first came out, I wore a lot of hoodies when I wasn’t in the chair because I felt so uncomfortable in my own body. Now that I’ve transitioned a bit (started T), even though I still get misgendered all the time, I don’t feel the need to hide and I’m more indifferent because I know who I am. Even if not everyone can see who I am, I know and am comfortable with myself.”
-Jay
My Body and its Journey to Confidence Story
“As someone who has had a complicated relationship with food and my perception of my body, the changing of the seasons is bittersweet. At times, I am reminded of the young girl who lacked confidence in her own skin and consistently wanted to hide parts of herself. Other times, I am comforted by the strong woman I have grown to be today.
As the weather warms, I hold the hands of both my past and future self, knowing that any self-doubt will eventually pass. I now try to place less emphasis on how my body looks and spend more time thinking about how I feel, the people I care about, and the things I want to experience.”
-R.S.
My Body and its Postpartum Story
Summer has always been a challenging season for me. Lately, I have been seeing how I present as not a source of approval or disapproval. I let myself exist. I remind myself: this body has been through a lot. Not only the experience of a huge transformation but also the sake of creation and nurturing another being out of my own. I have to be gentle.
I am a new me. In this journey, a lot has reformed: being a mother never ceases -
You are always called in multiple directions. Yet, you also have this inexplicable strength and power that comes to nourish the need.
I am not who I was before, I am a better me.
“Shaking and fearful, they handed me you.
Your tiny body desperate to settle down against mine.
And for a moment, the weight of this calling caught my breath:
How could I ever be enough?
The woman who have gone before have known so much, while here I am so without any clue.
Then I am quieted as I come fully present
You, still and contented.
I am humbled because I am all you wanted
And I now see, I am more than enough for you”
-Selin
My Body and its Artistic Story
“The shift in weather can be hard, as I often feel more vulnerable for showing off the parts of me that I struggle with - such as, the soft parts on my body, stretch marks, etc. It’s also such a gift to feel free in the summer! Where the weather is warm, wearing whatever feels comfortable and cute - that is when I’m happiest. while I can’t feel OBSESSED with my body all of the time, or even positive about it, I can be neutral. My body gives me such a gift - I can move, spend time with friends, go to the beach, walk around and watch dogs in the park… the list goes on - my body does all of that for me! So when I’m feeling down because I’m exposing more of myself to the world, I remember what this beautiful body does for me!
A way that I celebrate myself is through the act of tattooing my body! By creating art on my body, I’m adding more beauty to what I have existing. I’m able to connect my creative insides to my physical outsides, which allows my inner self to shine through. Not only this, but having tattoos allows me to connect with a range of people, whether it’s an 18-year-old who desperately wants a tattoo or a curious 70-year-old who wants to hear the story behind it.”
-Nancy
My Body and its Fluidity of Expression Story
“It wasn’t until recently that I started wearing a lot of crop tops and short shorts during the summer. I’m usually very particular about covering my body due to body dysmorphia, but I’ve been trying to be more confident and comfortable with the skin I’m in. While on the other hand, these types of clothes make me feel very sexy but also a bit nervous. I love that I can show off my legs because I have nice legs but I do get nervous when people see my stomach.
A lot of my excitement to wear what I want comes from my love for being creative and queer, from makeup to dresses to jewelry and down to the socks. I am a firm believer in wearing what makes you feel happy because clothing, makeup etc. has no gender or sexual orientation. It’s all about artistic expression and finding your own style. Whether you’re gay, straight, trans or cis, everyone has their own style and it’s up to ourselves to showcase our beauty and bodies the way we want to”
-Alejandro
My Body and its Scars of Strength Story
I have never been self conscious about the scars all over my body. They were signs that I survived during infancy and I am proud to have them. As it is getting hotter out, I’ve been wearing less clothing and revealing those scars. They remind me of where I came from and how far I have come in this world. My tattoos are fun to have and fun to paint my body with. I wouldn’t have my body any other way.
-Elizabeth
Thank you to all of our friends for opening up and being vulnerable with us to share their story. We appreciate you!
Our hope is that these stories will help build confidence and empowerment so we can fully enjoy the warmth and joy that summer brings without feeling like we need to hide our stories, and instead celebrate them.
